Carrie's Relationship Tips

Preparing Teens for Marriage

Did you know that good, quality research tells us that the best marrying age is between 22-25?  Furthermore, did you know the divorce rate among Christians is significantly lower than the general population?  The statement, “Christians divorce at roughly the same rate as the world”, is one of the most inaccurate statements we commonly hear from Christian leaders and educators today.

This data and the research to back it up is now available in the links below from Glenn Stanton, a research analyst at Focus on the Family. Glenn is one of many experts featured in our advanced high school course called, You Are Designed For Unity. This unit teaches the benefits of marriage,how to develop true emotional intimacy,how bonding should work,and the counterfeits that sabotage successful marriage.  This resource is one of the many ways The Legacy Institute is helping to prepare teens for an intact, fulfilling marriage.

I am amazed and saddened by how many marriages of people we all know are struggling.  For some, the two people involved didn’t realize marriage is about becoming holy, not happy (see "happy or holy?" blog), and they don’t like the pressure of this most intimate surgery on their selfishness.  There is no closer mirror than a spouse and the Word of God, wielded by the Holy Spirit.  Ouch!

I also believe a big missing ingredient in all these challenged relationships is that one or both of the people have not fully come alive or developed into who they are meant to be.  In other words, their five aspects (physical, intellectual, emotional, social and spiritual) are not developed to a place of maturity where they are so integrated as a person they can become a gift to another.  We cannot give what we don’t possess.  To help students prepare for marriage, we need to help them become whole, healthy individuals.  They must learn to integrate their male or female nature throughout all five of their aspects with power.  This doesn’t happen without being intentional and thoughtful preparation for their future, which includes making choices to protect their future marriage.  While it is popular to say, “You complete me,” it can be misleading.  Marriage should be two whole people coming together as one, to advance God’s Kingdom rather than two broken people trying to find their missing parts. 

One of the best pieces of news in the research is that authentic faith does strengthen marriage.  Thank you for modeling and teaching this to the next generation!  If we can help you teach life’s important relationship truths, don’t hesitate to contact us!  In addition to Relationships With Integrity resources for students, Legacy’s Biblical Blueprint For Sexual Integrity has been an invaluable tool for hundreds of couples. Check it out.

Bless you!

Carrie Abbott
President